What Alcoholics Feel
Alcoholism filled my body and mind with all sorts of unpleasant symptoms. Since I had been drinking for such a long time, I grew accustomed to them and began to just accept them as a normal part of my life, until I decided to get sober. When I got sober, the stark reality of just how much damage I had been doing to myself began to set in.
Mental Effects of Alcoholism
Alcohol had been doing some serious damage to the way that I viewed the world. I became increasingly depressed and cynical over the course of the years that I spend indulging my alcoholism. In addition to experiencing an increase in my depressive symptoms, I also noticed a sharp decline in my cognitive function. My alcoholism destroyed my short-term memory. I struggled to remember even small details. I was almost always late for bills, and couldn’t even remember simple tasks that I needed to complete throughout the day if I did not write them down to remind myself.
Alcohol also made me very angry. The more that I drank, the angrier I became. I noticed that I was spending more time than not feeling irritated. I routinely got kicked out of the bars that I frequented because I stopped being able to control my anger and would pick fights with people. When I would try to stop drinking, this would get even worse due to the withdrawal.
Physical Effects of Alcoholism
Alcohol did a lot that negatively affected my physical body. My skin became leathery, wrinkled, and porous. I looked about ten years older than I actually was due to the rate at which alcohol was destroying my physical health. At one point, I was drinking more than I was eating. This lead to my body developing a strange shape. My limbs all became very thin, but my stomach always appeared to be bloated. It wasn’t flattering at all, and I couldn’t find any clothes that fit me right. I got sick way more often than the other people I knew due to the way that alcohol compromised my immune system. I would get seriously ill a few times a month because my body stopped being able to fight off infection properly.
The physical symptoms were always the worse during withdrawal when I would try to take breaks from drinking. My hands would shake uncontrollably to the point where I struggled to drive and had to have other people take me to where I needed to go. I often became extremely paranoid and suffered from delusions. This was really hard on my friends and family. I often accused them of trying to hurt me and accused them of plotting against me. My blood pressure would also spike anytime that I tried to stop drinking on my own, sometimes to very dangerous levels. I once checked myself into a hospital because I was sure that I was going to die.